Tip of The Tongue
by BigGayDistraction
Summary: Arizona & Amelia are thrown together in a frantic attempt to save Dr. Herman's life, but what happens when they let their walls down and walk into each other's worlds not entirely sure of where it might lead them. *This story will be a slow burn for a romantic relationship between them.* PLEASE DO NOT READ if you are not okay with this pairing! I own nothing but the mistakes! Enjoy
1. Chapter 1

The room had been wallpapered with Nicole Herman's ominous scans, images of the tumor rapidly growing in her brain were plastered everywhere. Arizona and Amelia had been diligently looking over all the information, letting the story unfold through shadows of the murky visions spread out before them. Several hours had passed since they had hidden themselves away, secretly secluded and far away from the rest of the bustling hospital. They found themselves totally immersed in this case, discussing, debating and desperately attempting to figure out the best possible way to approach Dr. Herman regarding the fact that Dr. Amelia Shepherd had figured out how to remove the deadly mass raging in her brain.

"Can we continue this over a giant burger? I have not eaten anything but an apple and half of Karev's stale bagel in the last eight hours, and at this point everything is looking like one big blurry etch- a-sketch."

Rising, Amelia rolls her chair across the room, returning it to the desk on the other side, making a disgusted face in Arizona's direction, "I think I would actually have to be starving in order to eat after Karev. Most of the time I want to hose him down, he walks around here a bit of a smelly, wrinkled mess."

The blonde stretches her neck from side to side, seeking relief from the tension and stress that has currently taken over her body. "Well I didn't actually eat after him; I broke it off before he bit into it and then…oh, never mind."

Smiling at Arizona as she continues to chatter away, there was something endearing about the peds surgeon that Amelia found pleasant to be around. She couldn't quite put her finger on it yet, but she felt at ease with Arizona, it was nice not to be judged all the time and a relief that she did not know every detail of Amelia's past.

"If we go get burgers then you don't have to think about Karev's big bagel anymore, so yes to save you from that fate, I will gladly go with you for burgers. "

"Okay I never said it was big and when you say it like that it sounds completely gross and a little dirty." Arizona laughs at herself, Amelia finding it unsettling to look directly at her, that laugh paired with her piercing blue eyes is a stunningly beautiful combination.

"Okay Robbins you're buying though, and I am starving!."

Carefully removing each of the images from the wall, Arizona gives in, "I guess that is only fair since you are amazing and going to save a doctor's life, a doctor who is going to be able to go on to do amazing things in her field. Seriously, I don't even know how to begin to thank you."

Grabbing her notes, "Let's start with extra cheese on my burger and fries, how about that?"

The dimples appear effortlessly followed by an enthusiastic declaration of acceptance, "Deal!"

* * *

><p>They find a corner booth at the hole-in-the-wall burger joint not far from the hospital; walking in the brisk night air is just what they both need to feel the fog lift and regain a bit of clarity.<p>

"I want whatever you have on tap that is the coldest, and a blue cheese burger with fries." Arizona tells the waiter,

Looking over at Amelia, "for you?"

"The classic burger, extra cheddar, fries and a large ice tea no lemon, please.", handing the tattered menus back to the scruffy looking guy who was undoubtedly a college student.

"No beer?"

"No beer. I am in recovery."

Arizona puts her hand on top of Amelia's, "I am so sorry! I can change my order, it's not a problem. I didn't know. Did I know? Should I have known? Oh, god I feel like I should have known..."

Lifting their hands up, fingers become threaded together and Amelia gives Arizona's hand a light squeeze, "Stop. It's okay, and no you wouldn't have known, I am relieved you didn't know. I have been clean for a while now. I just don't tell most people."

Arizona takes her hand away as the waiter appears with their drink order, setting the glasses down in front of them along with a bottle of ketchup and extra napkins.

"So how are things going living with Derek and Meredith?"

Silence lingers for a moment as Amelia decides the correct way to answer the question, she felt it almost was easier admitting her recovery than it was talking about the mess that is swirling around with all the drama currently happening at her brother's house.

"I miss my own bathroom and walking to the fridge with no pants on if I want a drink of water in the middle of the night; lets just say I will be happy when I get my own place."

"Yeah, me too, I can totally sympathize."

The burgers arrive and they both dive in like they have not eaten for days, which is not too far off the mark as they begin devouring the food.

"I am looking for my own place, Callie is going to keep the house but we both decided it was time I moved out."

Chewing on a fry,Amelia watches Arizona speak about Callie, she lets the image of them together enter her mind for a split second before she pushes it out again, taking an extra-long sip of her tea.

"I am sorry about the divorce Arizona, I know you love her very much and well, Sofia lights up around you every time I see the two of you together, I can't imagine…how hard it has been"

Squirting ketchup all over her fries, she places the bottle down before taking a second to find Amelia's eyes, "Thank you, very much. I am ready to move forward, its been too long in the same place and life is not stopping for me to get my shit together."

The waiter stops over to re-fill drinks. Arizona opts for ordering a cup of coffee instead of another beer, and Amelia follows her lead.

"Hey can I ask you something kinda crazy, Arizona?"

"Maaaybe?" she answers with suspicion written all over her face.

Amelia can't help but laugh, " I am not asking you out for god's sake, I was wondering if you ever thought about a roommate when you get your own place?"

"Hmm, I haven't really thought about it too much, but it would have to be someone that understood my job, the demands, the hours and I would have to trust them completely with Sofia…" she rattles on using a french fry to emphasis her points in the air.

Amelia waits patiently for her commentary to end,when it does and their eyes meet and Arizona's light bulb goes off as she catches up, "…ah, someone like…you."

Amelia rests her chin in the palm of her hand shaking her head slowly up and down as a silly grin spreads across her face, "like me."

The coffee arrives and they go through several cups, talking through the scans one more time as the blonde tries desperately to focus on the information, and the procedure Amelia is describing in detail which is totally out of Arizona's wheelhouse, it becomes clear to her that Derek is not really as 'one of a kind' as everyone wants to believe. This woman is brilliant.

Agreeing they are both exhausted, desperate to grab a few hours of sleep before they begin new shifts, they walk briskly together on the sidewalk toward the hospital. Arizona can't help herself.,"So were you really serious about the moving in together?"

"Robbins, I said roommate, leave it to the lesbian to make it into a U-Haul situation right out of the gate."

Giving her a playful shove, "Shut up, no one likes you. "

Amelia does not say a word but Arizona can tell she is smiling.

"Despite the fact that no one here likes you, including me, would you like to look for a place together? One that might work for us to be _roommates_?", emphasizing the last word in a long drawn out dramatic presentation.

Responding with a good-natured shove of her own before responding, "Yes, I think I would."

* * *

><p><strong>Not sure if I am going to continue, but if I don't get raked over the coals too bad for this pairing and there is any interest I would like to see where it goes. <strong>** Having said that, thank you very much for reading this short taste of what this story could be and I welcome comments and thoughts! Many thanks! **


	2. Chapter 2

First thank you to the folks who left respectful comments, even if they were constructive and you didn't particularly like the story, the pairing or my writing. I appreciate your time reading and commenting, especially the fact that you were civil about your thoughts. However, I was shocked at some of the rude and hateful things that were posted, many of them I deleted. All of it over fictional characters on a television show, it seems a bit much to be that hateful for those reasons. I write this stuff for fun, and being berated to that level is not fun so I have decided not to continue the story.

-Peace

**UPDATE: Since there were so many kind comments countering the awful ones, I decided to keep the story going, so thank you to all those amazing people, who made me realize stopping the story is just giving in to the bullies. I always welcome and encourage comments and feedback in all my stories, even if they are critical or someone does not like something specific or has a suggestion to make it better but the hateful and rude comments that are personal attacks will be deleted so that we all don't have to be subjected to them. Once more thank you for taking the time to comment and read, I really appreciate it! xx**

**Read on...Chapter 3 will continue the story! **


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you to all the encouraging posts from people who seem to really want me to continue. This is for you... I really appreciate the kindness and support. x**

* * *

><p>The buzzing sound seemed so far away, until it was not. The noise drifts closer and closer until the blankets are peeled back from the cozy cocoon only one bare arm is forced outside to grasp the phone haphazardly pressing the screen until the buzzing stops. Pulling the phone down into the warmth of the bed attempting to mutter one recognizable word, which comes out much deeper and raspier than she intended, and what eventually escapes is not even a word.<p>

"hmmph"

"Amelia is that you?"

"uh huh"

"She found out. Dr. Herman knows I pretty much stole her medical records. She is mad. I mean mad, like really, really mad. Like the kind of mad that makes you do things before you actually think them through, which is what I think just happened…"

"Arizona shut up. Where are you?"

"The police station."

Amelia throws the covers off herself, bolting upright in bed, "Did you get arrested?"

"Something like that, could you come get me?"

Rubbing the palms of her hands over her sleepy eyes, hoping to will them awake. "Yeah, give me half hour and I will be there."

Amelia steps through the paint chipped metal doorway where she was told to wait by a nice man who looked more like a mild mannered math professor than a police officer. She immediately is aware of her surroundings, the woman to her right has track marks inching up her arm, the place where her worn, over-sized shirt is too big and she must push the sleeves up, forcing the garment to fit on her tiny frame at all. Sunken eyes, glazed over, a hollow fog that seeps from the woman is a dead giveaway to her woes. Amelia could almost taste the woman's high as she was left starring at the ghost in front of her that was once her own reflection. Beginning to feel the tightness in her chest, she forces herself to take a slow, deep breath counting to five in her head, when suddenly a different sensation surrounds her, breaking Amelia free from the moment.

Arizona throws her arms around Amelia who freezes for a split second, before giving into the embrace, "Thank you so much for coming to get me. I was going to call Callie but didn't want to wake Sofia or have to explain why I am at the police station at this hour."

"Hey, no problem, are you okay?" looking the blonde over.

"What a mess, but yes I am fine and in the end charges were dropped but I am not convinced Nicole will not sue me."

"Let's get out of here and I will tell you everything."

Sitting in Derek and Meredith's kitchen waiting for the coffee to finish brewing the reality of what has happened over the last several hours is starting to sink in, as does the panic.

Amelia grabs two mugs from the deep maple stained cabinet in front of her, "Just start at the beginning and tell me exactly what happened."

Arizona shakes her head in affirmation, thinking back to the moment that started it all…

"_Robbins, let's go for a drink tonight, I don't have many chances left and I can't even remember the last time I said those words to someone, plus I have eaten all the ice cream flavors Ben and Jerry's has to offer, I need to move on to other things." _

_Furrowed brows of disbelief reveal Arizona is not exactly sure how to react but she does anyway, "uh, well, okay sure." _

"_After shift and you're buying, you owe me after all." _

"_I do?" _

"_Yes, I am giving you a fast track, once in a life time master class in being the best specialty peds surgeon in the world and that alone deserves well-aged bourbon I would think." _

_Nodding a skeptical affirmation, still unable to believe what she is hearing, "Right." _

Amelia put a mug of steaming hot coffee in front of her, "Go, on."

Sipping the welcome caffeinated life- line in a cup offered to her, Arizona takes a deep breath before continuing. "Everything was fine; we were at Joe's bar, Dr. Herman was fine, she was very happy with the Pappy Van Winkle 12 year bourbon that the bartender had recommended, I was actually having a good time too, until her phone rang...

"_Hold on JoAnn, I can't hear you." Holding up a finger in Arizona's direction, she mouths the words, "Be right back." _

_Within minutes everything would change, the table, the drinks and the work Dr. Arizona Robbins had done over the last several months would be turned upside down. The firm hand on her shoulder would pull her around until she was facing her accuser._

"_How could you? You think you have the right to somehow break into my personal private hell that has taken me months to figure out, to find one small space of solid ground and you pull that out from me?" You Dr. Robbins are done, with me, my work and if I have anything to do with it being a doctor." _

_What happened next was an unfortunate accident, one of those moments that you would never think could actually happen and if you tried a hundred times over, you would never be able to recreate no matter how hard you tried. The intent did not matter in the end, all the blonde wanted to do was make the swirling waters stop for one moment, to speak reason and bring calm to the crushing waves that now crashed down around them both._

_The hand was meant to pacify the anger, emphasize a point she was trying to make but the momentum was too powerful, the intent had more force fueled by sheer desperation in order to make Dr. Herman just stop screaming the harsh accusations and listen. The cheap wine glass sailed out of Arizona's hand crashing into the bar then ricocheting into Dr. Herman's face, breaking the skin, drawing first blood and causing quite the scene. It happened fast, and Arizona is not sure where the cop came from but when he asked Nicole if she would like to press charges Arizona would hear the response ringing in her head for the next several hours, "Damn fucking straight I do." _

Amelia leans against the kitchen island for some support, she looks Arizona's way, one single word escapes through her lips, "Fuuuck."

It is that single word that pulls hard at the dangling thread, unraveling Arizona as the salt betrays her eyes and the tears fall in a free for all down her face. Amelia does not really do emotions, it's just not her thing but as she looks at the vulnerability cracking wide open in the transparent blue eyes in front of her she can't help but respond.

"Hey, come here." The blond falls into her chest, it's easy and effortless as the curtain of tears continues to fall leaving Amelia's shirt stained with Arizona's fear and uncertainly, she feels the warmth between them, acknowledging on some level to herself that she does not mind the closeness.

"Listen to me; we are going to figure it all out. I know it seems really, really fucking bad right now, but it will be end up not being as bad as we think it is, I promise."

Arizona just pulls herself into the warm crook of Amelia's neck seeking refuge, and the other woman lets her.

* * *

><p>Arizona assumed the other members of the board would be present and waiting for her when she was paged for an emergency meeting in the administration offices at the hospital. She would just tell them the truth, while she had in fact broken many rules including the ethics code of the hospital, she would simply make her case and let the rest fall to fate. She grasps the coolness of the metal doorknob, mustering up all the courage she can and then with a purposeful twist she prepares to stand her ground.<p>

"Hello, Arizona."

There is no board, no buzzing chatter, and no one else in the room.

"Oh, Hi Dr. Herman", Arizona immediately feels guilty as she looks at the sutured cut on the doctor's face and the bruising surrounding it.

"I am so sorry."

"Let's clarify, would that be about the laceration to my face or stealing my personal private property?"

Slowly stepping forward, "I am sorry about the accident with the glass and I am so very sorry you are upset, but what I am not sorry about is getting a copy of your scans."

The intimidating laugh that flies from Dr. Herman's mouth is cutting and harsh, "You're not sorry because you felt entitled since I picked you for the program? Perhaps you have somehow misinterpreted our professional rapport so you now feel you can deceitfully lie, scheme and steal something so private to me that no one else knows about the condition but my treating doctors and you. Do you understand the sanctity in that Robbins?"

"I do."

"Ah, you do, okay well then what in the hell did you think would happen? That you would be able to miraculously shop them around and find a miracle for me? The best in the world have looked at these scans, there are no miracles in my prognosis and you of all people should understand that! I will be reporting what happened to Dr. Hunt, I thought you should know." Ending the conversation Dr. Herman briskly walks toward the door; with her hand on the polished silver knob that she is just about to turn until she is stopped dead in her tracks.

"WAIT!"

The hand on the door knob freezes and the older doctor does not move.

"I know it was wrong okay, I get that it violated all kind of ethical rules and codes but you are what I have left. I have you. Crotchety, hard-nosed, brilliant you that is what remains after my marriage and life have fallen apart. I wanted to hate you, I DID hate you for a while but now I don't and it's not pity so don't yell at me for that, ok? I actually enjoy you and I would really like it if you didn't die."

Silence swirls around them and Arizona is not sure if Nicole is going to yell at her or leave. Instead , after a moment she quietly responds.

"We can't always get what we want, Robbins."

Without thinking the words exploded out of her like a cork in a bottle of champagne, hitting Dr. Nicole Herman in the square center of her being.

"Amelia Shepherd has figured out a way to remove your tumor."

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you very much for taking the time to read. I appreciate all comments and thoughts as long as they are respectful and once again thank you all who wrote such inspiring and kind words. I appreciate the chance to write this story. xx<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

"I swear to God himself Robbins the only reason I am even going to listen to what Amelia Shepherd has to say is that you promised me you would shut the hell up, and let me die in peace after I listen to the pitch, remember?"

Dipping a sole finger into the foam of her latte and messing up the elegant design the barista had so carefully crafted atop her drink Arizona responds with every bit of frustration she is feeling, dancing on the tip of her tongue. "Yes, I promise this is it Nicole. This is my Hail Mary, my last hurrah at any attempt to try and talk some sense into that rock solid stubborn head of yours."

Smiling Dr. Herman takes a drink of the salted caramel hot cocoa she ordered with extra whipped cream, "This is good stuff, I might have to add coming back here to my bucket list. They have a dark chocolate raspberry cocoa, and if I am around long enough bourbon eggnog with vanilla bean coming in just two weeks, I just might still be here."

Arizona just rolls her eyes, "You're an ass sometimes, and I am assuming you know this right?"

Neither woman gives an inch as they scowl on at each other; both of their faces remain a clear indication that no one sitting at the table has much faith in the other.

Breezing in, coat half off by the time she sits down, Amelia slides into the booth next to Arizona, "Sorry I am late."

Draining the last of her cocoa from the mug, "I can see you put very little value on the time I have left Dr. Shepherd, now stop wasting it so we can all go home."

Arizona and Amelia lock eyes for a brief second, both knowing this was not going to be easy, agreeing that Dr. Herman's defiance and attitude came down to self-preservation, it's hard to hold on to hope, when there is none.

"Okay, so I have spent hours upon hours looking at your scans."

"Stolen scans." Testing the waters of how far she can push.

Ignoring her completely Amelia continues, "Listen, I don't waste my time on things that can't be done Dr. Herman, and the way to operate on your tumor is to combine two innovative methods to navigate the delicate mine field the tumor is currently residing in."

She looks up for the briefest of seconds afraid to stop talking, so she continues.

"Your glioblastomas is a nasty bitch, she is snaking down and around parts of your brain some of the tumor we can't even see on any of the scans. So the first part of the procedure is that we give you aminolevulinic acid, you drink it, and the tumor and all of its snaking bits will glow a pinkish red and light up for me to see. Now it gets tricky to see the edges of the tumor but I am confident the healthy tissue is going to have a slightly different hue helping in guiding my cuts. Then I am going to basically cook your tumor from the inside out transmitting heat to coagulate the mass with a laser using interstitial thermal therapy, and cutting out the dead tissue, viewing everything in live high res imaging as we go, hopefully eliminating any surprises."

Amelia exhales after getting it all out in one shot, seeking some flicker of hope in Nicole's eyes.

"Surprise, we are done! Thank you for the incredible cocoa, the fascinating neuro chat, but most of all thank you Dr. Robbins for promising me to never, ever mention my condition in my presence or anyone else outside of our little CT scan book club again. Now if you will excuse me, I have babies to save."

They watched her go; sitting in silence until finally Arizona slowly nods her head up and down, "Well, that went so very well. Fuck she is stubborn."

"Aw, give her some time, it's a lot of info to digest, maybe once she lets it simmer and sink in she will change her mind."

"Maybe", undeniable disappointment is written all over the blonde's face.

"Hey you should buy me a coffee, I came all this way and cancelled a free massage from a PT intern for this."

"Was he cute?"

"Well _he_ was named Jennifer, and I am not sure what lesbian standards are but if I was looking to bed a chick she could be in the running."

"Are you?"

"Am I what?"

"Looking to bed a chick?"

"Robbins with my current bad luck in the dating department I would date a llama if I thought it would work out."

"Oh. Okay then, good to know."

* * *

><p>It was an open floor plan with exposed brick, and french doors that opened to a small patio, hardwood floors, an amazing kitchen and two spacious bed rooms with a third smaller room they could use as an office space that could also double as a room for Sofia when she came to stay. It was perfect except for one little aspect.<p>

"So, is the one bathroom thing a deal breaker?"

Amelia is too busy checking out the kitchen, "Holy shit there are pedals to turn on and off the water in the sink and that my friend is a deal sealer!"

Making her way to the kitchen, "Okay but I don't want to hear one word about not getting enough bathroom time, got it?"

Arizona watches as Amelia checks out the kitchen amenities in detail, including a thorough inspection of the stove, "Wait, do you cook?"

Flashing her smile that made Arizona's stomach hurt, "So what, you think I am only a neurosurgeon with no other redeeming qualities? I love to cook, I almost became a chef, really I did, ask Derek. I however hate dishes so maybe we can work out a deal, kinda like sharing the bathroom."

"Okay. Yeah, sure that would be great!"

"Are you alright? You seem flustered."

"No, I am fine it's just so… exciting." Smiling ear to ear all the while bolting to get out of the room, because flustered is exactly what she was, flustered and overwhelmed. Arizona's head filled with doubts and questions, what would Callie think? How would she explain this whole thing to Sofia? Then the sadness of the situation reminding her of all she has lost, and that it was Callie who walked away in the end leaving her alone. Arizona found herself huddled down at the bottom of the large linen closet in the throes of a full-fledged meltdown.

"Hey, are you crying?" Amelia extends her hand outward until a waiting hand grasps on, yanking the blonde to her feet.

"Jesus do not cry in the closet, what kind of lesbian are you? Out of the closet, Robbins." cocking her head, with eyebrows raised hoping for at least a grin.

"C'mon let me buy you a coffee or tea, I can continue my self-loathing pity party and you can ogle the new hot bartender at Joe's"

"Coffee _and_ a piece of pie, if I have to listen to you lament there needs to be sustenance, the new bartender is only semi hot, and he makes god awful coffee, how does anyone screw up coffee, how about they throw the addicts who have enough balls to go into the bar a bone?" Finally Amelia gets the grin she was hoping for arrive on the blonde's face.

* * *

><p>The pagers went off like a well-orchestrated symphony, followed by systematic chaos as the team of the Grey Sloane Memorial emergency room went into action. They were receiving patients from a school bus that was hit head on by a drunk driver going the wrong way, the bus driver was killed upon impact and there were varying degrees of injuries for the kids on the bus. The kids ages varied, but there was also anther serious situation to content with, one that was currently being rushed into surgery. A mother pushing her infant daughter in a stroller been clipped by the bus, sending the stroller sailing through the air and the baby along with it.<p>

The operating room was saturated with the tense undercurrent of what they were about to attempt. Robbins, Karev, Herman and Sheppard were all tending to the baby who was suffering from a torn aorta and severe bleeding in her brain. Amelia would lead them as her portion of the surgery was the most critical to the survival of this little girl.

"We have a dissection extending toward the descending thoracic aorta and into the abdominal aorta, let's not have this rupture on us people.", the words fly out of Dr. Herman's mouth with a calm forcefulness that commands the attention in the room.

"BP is tacky at 80 over 60", a nurse chimes in with the update.

"I have a epidural hematoma disrupting the middle meningeal artery with severe bleeding in the cranial vault." Amelia is sweating through her scrubs as she realizes the severity of the injury to this little baby.

"This kid doesn't stand a chance", Karev's tone and words come out cold and metallic as they drift around the room.

"Get out." It escapes her mouth from the north end of the operating table little more than a whisper.

"What?"

"You heard me Dr. Karev, I am going to give you 10 seconds to get out of my OR taking your negative energy with you before I embarrass you to high heaven in front of all the interns that have gathered in the viewing box above us. Walk away now please." She never raises her voice and brings the room back to the place where all are refocused within seconds, their work continues as Alex leaves the room.

"Alright everyone, let's get started we have a little girl to save." Adjusting her stance Amelia Shepard goes to work.

Once they finished with the surgery, the little girl was in critical condition and it would be touch and go for awhile but she was alive, they had all played a vital part in giving hope to the hopeless situation thrown their way.

Still wearing her blood soaked scrubs, eyes fixated on the floor below her, "You can do the surgery Shepherd."

Amelia's head flies upward, "What changed your mind?"

"Karev."

Almost laughing, "You lost me? Karev changed your mind about letting me operate on your massive intricate tumor?"

Yanking off her scrub cap, Dr. Herman crosses her arms seeking out and finding Amelia's eyes, "If anyone can do this surgery it's you, not because of your talent, which you certainly have, but because you won't let anything come in the way of having the perfect environment for your patients in the room, even if that means kicking a smart ass doctor out of your OR, I like it. It's something I would do; it's something I would have done today if you hadn't gotten the words out first. You're like me, Shepherd and that just might be the best compliment you will ever get."

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><p><strong>Again, thank you so much for the support, I really appreciate the comments and folks taking the time to read this story! Cheers- xx<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

"So when you say you've "made" pasta, I am assuming that means a box of spaghetti was dumped into boiling water?"

Amelia does not answer for a few seconds as she is focused intently on the sauté pan in front of her, "No, it means I dug out your KitchenAid mixer and found the pasta attachment."

Grabbing the bottle of red wine off the counter the blonde pours herself a glass as she slides herself into a seat across from Amelia watching her do, whatever it is she is doing. "Wow. That's impressive. It's like 11:30 at night, aren't you exhausted?"

Feverishly grating the hard block of cheese against the protruding rivets of the metal triangle she is grasping, which is firmly placed on the ash gray granite counter top, "I am so wound up when I get home, cooking just calms me, helps me plant some stillness so I can settle. It generally works out well because when I get home only then will it occur to me that the only food I have had all day is a granola bar out of the vending machines or a god awful half eaten lunch from the cafeteria." Finally looking up, "Hey, you're on the board right; can't you do something about the hot mess that goes on in that kitchen?"

Arizona does not answer, instead chooses to remain silently content watching the effortless ease as Amelia moves through a graceful kitchen dance while preparing the late night dinner which is well organized, executed with finesse and confidence, something the blonde finds very appealing.

Pulling two bowls down from the cabinet. "I am assuming you're going to want some of this."

Lingering at the thought, she takes a slow sip of wine before responding, "Nah, I had half of Karev's big stale bagel." Looking playfully over her glass she wonders if Amelia will remember the joke.

"Oh, okay, well that is good because there is really not enough anyway, and I am sure nothing is as good as Karev's big bagel." Raising an eyebrow to the ante of the little game that seemed to developed in the moment.

"What's in it anyway?"

"Oh it's just linguini with brown butter, shallot, crispy pancetta and caramelized leeks."

"Is that all? Sounds… simple." Trying her best to keep up the act.

Amelia sits down across from Arizona steaming bowl of pasta in hand, locking eyes with the blonde; she picks up her spoon and slowly twirls the pasta into a perfectly round bundle, before slowly slurping it into her mouth, letting the utensils drop back into the bowl before she closes her eyes moaning a self-gratifying indication of excellence. "Holy fuck is that good."

Arizona gets up to refill her glass, walking behind Amelia's chair pausing to taking a peek into the bowl for herself she is unable to resist any longer, "Fine, it looks amazing and smells like a four star restaurant in here, can I have some please?"

Amelia sits back in her chair, pondering the request. Reaching forward she twirls a perfect bite onto her fork with the spoon and offers it up behind her left shoulder where she suddenly feels the pressure of a warm hand on her opposite shoulder, and then the weight of Arizona leaning forward into her. Catching her breath, Amelia smiles to herself anticipating the response, "I don't even know what to say, oh my god that is so good! Where did you learn to cook like this?", another bite appears above Amelia's head and Arizona accepts it, leaning down with her brown butter glossed lips she plants a soft kiss on Amelia's cheek. The brief sensation of Arizona's lips on her skin rockets through Amelia's body like a grenade, taking the neurosurgeon completely off guard as she quickly searches for some composure and her wine glass.

"You are like the best roommate ever…EVER!"

Amelia continues to twirl her pasta, "Well I am glad you feel that way, you can do the dishes then…."

* * *

><p>There is a light tap at the door before it is slowly pushed open, Derek Shepherd does not visit his sister often in her office, but there he is standing in her space with that million dollar smile, "Hey I heard you are operating on Dr. Herman."<p>

Not bothering to look up from the mess of charts scattered all around her, "Wow news travels fast around here."

Making himself comfortable in the well-appointed chair perched in front of the ornate desk, he takes a deep breath before speaking, "Listen, I am here if you need me to assist, if you think I can offer anything to better the outcome of the surgery then I am yours."

Chewing on the plastic tip of an already gnawed roller gel pen, deep in thought from the words that drift toward her she returns to the paperwork on her desk, "I don't _need _you to do this surgery Derek, let's make that perfectly clear but if you would like to assist because this is an incredible innovative surgery then I could use another pair of skilled hands in the OR should anything surprise us."

"Gee thanks for the invite, we are not baking a bundt cake Amelia, this is an extraordinarily complicated tumor, and I think it would serve Dr. Herman best if we did this operation together."

Slamming the chart in her hands closed, "You are a jackass, I would never invite myself into a surgery of yours simply because I didn't think of it first which is exactly what you are doing. Isn't it enough for you to do a lap dance for the president's cronies every couple of months, why do you have to chew the rest of us up one by one, only to spit us out when you are done and ready to move on."

"Amelia, you are in over your head."

"Have you even looked into her case, Derek? She does not have a lot of time to think about another option. I am her option. There is no way we are doing a joint surgery on Nicole Herman, this is not a presidential cabinet Derek, the president can't appoint you to my operating room. "

"You're making a mistake."

"I guess we are going to find out." Pushing her chair back she stands to gather some of the files scattered about, "I have to go meet with Dr. Brinkman about our plan for Nicole's anesthesia during the surgery."

"He is the best."

Turning back to look at him, "I know your struggling, frustrated with Meredith, mad at yourself, conflicted that you have to make this monumental decision to leave or stay but do not put that unsettled negative energy on me, Nicole or this surgery. Figure your shit out Derek, you once said that to me and it worked wonders, take your own damn advice."

She slams the door on her way out, long gone before Derek can even respond.

* * *

><p>"How are you feeling?"<p>

"Like someone I have known for five seconds is going to cut into my brain."

"There is no one better."

"Tell that to Derek Shepherd."

"I think Derek already knows, he just won't admit it."

"Why do you believe in Amelia so much Robbins?"

"Because she is special."

"Special as in you would like a special invitation into her pants?"

"Special as in she figured out what no one else could. Be grateful."

"I am."

Amelia watches the exchange between them from behind the slight separation of the curtain in Dr. Herman's room before deciding she should go in making an effort to loudly enter as she barges into the space.

"Well, all your pre op tests came back within range; I am giving clearance for surgery tomorrow as planned. I am happy with everything Dr. Herman; we are all set to go in the morning. You and I have a date at 6:00am."

"Robbins you gonna be there?"

"I will be watching from the observation deck."

"I bet."

Arizona shoots her a very clear look to shut the hell up, in which Nicole responds by scrunching up her face in an act of total defiance, "Involuntary vocalization can be expected with a condition like mine."

"Right, except that condition has nothing to do with your brain, it's that infamous mouth condition you have, so zip it."

Finishing with the notes on her chart Amelia closes the file, "Get some rest, tomorrow you get your life back. I promise to leave your snark fully intact."

"I am liking you more and more Shepherd, and so is Robbins."

Clapping her hands together, "Okay, we are done here, be out in just a second, Amelia." Once they are alone Arizona can't help but ask, "What is it with you and making all the snide comments about Amelia?"

"I see how you look at her."

"Are you nuts? I don't look at her any way other than a colleague and friend. She is my roommate."

"You can't help it Robbins, it seeps from you. You're young, sow your wild oats while you can."

"Okay, stop talking. Get some rest and I will see you in the morning. Do NOT die tonight, do you hear me."

"Yes, ma'am."

* * *

><p>Dumping extra sugar into the lukewarm black coffee Amelia stirs as she plops herself down in the doctor's lounge, "Well she was in rare form tonight. I am not sure how much of that is her or if any of that is the tumor's doing."<p>

"Oh I think most of it is tumor talk, right?"

Taking a sip of the liquid black sludge resembling coffee, "I don't know, you tell me."

"Tell you what?"

"You know!"

"I don't know Amelia, what are you talking about?"

"Do you think she trusts me to do the surgery?"

The blonde lets out the breath she didn't realize she was holding and finds her way to the seat across from Amelia, "Totally, she totally trusts you. It's hard for her to show her feelings but she does and she is very much indebted to you for helping her find her way out of the darkness. The surgery is going to be amazing", reaching out to touch Amelia's hand, "you are going to be amazing."

"God, let's hope so, if she dies I have a feeling she would find a way to haunt us for the rest of our fucking lives..."

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you all for reading, and taking the time to post comments, I really appreciate it! Please keep them coming, let me know what you think and anything you would like to see happen as the story progresses. I am off for two weeks on holiday so I should be able to update with a little more frequency. Cheers- xx<strong>


	6. Chapter 6

Arizona watched the brain surgery being performed on Dr. Nicole Herman looking down from the observation deck through the glass barrier, hovering, pacing, praying and pondering what would happen when it was all said and done. She watched Amelia work, the intense well-orchestrated dance in all she commanded and demanded of herself and the hand-picked specialized staff assisting her. It was not unlike the night she watched the neurosurgeon effortlessly cooking in the kitchen; it was similar, cut from the same cloth of determination and drive to do things meticulously all in an effort for the best, impeccable outcome.

Derek joined Arizona for the last hour of the surgery. He eased himself into the seat next to the blonde and watched for several minutes without speaking, until he finally broke the silence lingering stagnant in the room.

"She is amazing; my sister is more talented than anyone else in this hospital, including me."

Arizona smiles a Derek, "Oh I think both of the Shepherd's kinda dominate the talent pool around here, but she is stunning to watch in action."

Derek cocks his head, smiling at Arizona, "Really, Amelia's managed to impress the peds surgeon known for her hard ass OR standards?"

"Her technique is brilliant, and the way she commands the room is a bit mesmerizing, Derek. You know what I am talking about, right."

Shifting his weight Derek Shepherd crosses his left leg so he can more easily address Arizona, "There are certain things I have taught Amelia, Dr. Robbins and that I am proud to say is one of them."

Smiling over at him with her liquid blue eyes, "I am going to let you think that Derek, because I know how proud you are of her, maybe you could tell her once in a while. Hey, I am going to head down, looks like they are closing."

In the end after eleven long hours, one piece of malfunctioning equipment that was immediately replaced, and two particularly hairy moments when Nicole's blood pressure plummeted. Dr. Herman's glioblastoma was completely removed from her brain; she did not suffer any stroke activity, blood loss or significant complications during the surgery. All in all it could be considered a brilliantly executed success.

Arizona found the woman she was looking for in the locker room changing into fresh scrubs, the blonde just couldn't help herself, she didn't even wait for Amelia to finish pulling the dark blue top over her head before wrapping her arms around the neurosurgeon and whispering into her ear, "You are so amazing, so incredibly amazing. Thank you."

It was a mere few extra seconds they lingered and each one wondered who would move first, as they stood there in silence with their heads touching, until finally Amelia finished pulling the fresh scrub top down over her torso.

"It went well, better than I thought, there were a couple of places it became sheer dumb luck Arizona, I mean it could have easily gone the other way, but the cuts were clean and I really feel good about the surgery as a whole but the next 72 hours will be more important than anything I did in that OR."

Arizona could see the exhaustion clinging onto each work Amelia spoke, "Are you going to stay here for the night?"

"Yeah, I am completely beat, but I need to be here if anything develops, I am going to grab an on-call room and sleep for a bit. You should go home; it has been a very long day for both of us."

Playfully she pokes Amelia in the arm with one single finger, "Promise me you will call if anything changes, anything at all, okay?"

She makes an imaginary X over her chest, "I promise."

She woke several hours later, finding herself in a traffic jammed, fog-like pulse racing panic and the dream seemed very real as it startled her awake, involuntarily sucking breath into her lungs as if desperate to grasp for any available oxygen. Lying there in the stillness Amelia's heart pounded like a jungle drum, so sure the dream was real her eyes searched the room in an effort to make sure she was in fact alone. Swallowing hard as the hazy confusion cleared, realizing it was without a doubt Arizona's lips upon hers in the sleepy world of her subconscious. Wanting to brush it off, she made up a hundred excuses in her mind why this figment of her imagination really means nothing at all, that it happens sometimes, even between friends. Then the fierce pull of what she desired most happened, yanking the covers tight against her body, she rolled over and retreated back into the silent lucidity of her dreams.

Arizona's phone buzzed relentlessly on the nightstand beside her bed, it took her a moment to awake fully, when she looked at the number, she struggled to press the answer button on the screen, "Hey, is everything okay?" She listened as the arsenal of frantic words came from the other end of the connection, "Okay, I am on my way, it is okay Amelia; it's going to be okay. I'll be there as soon as I can."

The hospital was already in full swing by the time Arizona walked through the doors at 5:37 am, she found Derek first, stopping to ask him what the hell was going on.

Scratching the shadowy whiskers on his prickly chin, the exhaustion on his face is clear, "We can't get Nicole to wake up. "

"What?"

"She is just not responding, we just have to wait and Amelia knows this but she is beating herself up and desperate to figure it out, and we both know that time itself is the only thing which will tell the story here. I keep reminding her that intact brain stem function when she went into do the surgery is a very good sign that she will regain consciousness but she is so stubborn and hard on herself."

Reaching out to touch Derek's hand with the slightest of smiles, "and I have no idea where she acquired those traits, being brilliant is not easy for you two _all _of the time." She squeezes his hand gentle, "Where is she?"

"In her office…"

The coffee cup appeared on her desk and when she looked up there were those majestic blue eyes looking back at her, saving her, and despite all of the sludge swirling around in her head she smiled without effort, reaching for the coffee. "Hey, thanks for coming in, and for this.." holding up the cup to take in the much needed warm, soothing liquid that would help to keep her going as she figured out what to do next.

"Nicole is not waking up, now it could be several factors coming into play and it's still very early." Standing she begins to walk around listing off one by one the complex medical jargon of how the body would come around with time. Amelia ends her rant gazing out the window, looking at the sea of cars and people that are now arriving and entering, people heading into the main entrance of the hospital. Amelia can't help herself, and she wonders if she will ever see Dr. Herman walk through those doors again. All at once Arizona's body is close to her, in an instant the warm breath appears just inches away from her ear, a sensation that makes the hair on the back of her neck take notice and the butterflies in her belly take flight. The slight whisper arrives like a comforting rain in the middle of summer, "Then we wait."

Swallowing hard, wishing they could just stay in that moment for a bit longer but instead Amelia turns toward the blonde, "There is a problem, Arizona. I am not sure how to say this but somehow we didn't address her DNR, nor do we have any contacts or power of attorney information. We have no paperwork on file."

"What do you mean we didn't address it? She is a doctor for god's sake, shouldn't the proper protocol have been followed for her of all people?"

"Oh, I know what we _should_ have done, what I am saying to you is that we didn't"

Arizona plops down into the chair across from Amelia's desk, "Well fuck."

Taking a sip of her coffee, "Exactly."

* * *

><p>Amelia is gathered around the nurse's station with several other people, she is specifically talking with Bailey and Karev about a consult on an ER case that was just admitted when she feels a tight grip around her elbow. Arizona pops her head into the group apologizing profusely as she drags Amelia away and dragging her into the seclusion of her office , "What the hell is going on?"<p>

Arizona begins her feverish explosion of information, "She has a sister, and older sister, just by a few years, who lives not too far from here, I think we should go and find her, I have spent the last three hours desperately trying to find her family or friends, someone, anyone who could either give us information or at least come be here with her if she wakes up…_when_ she wakes up!"

"Define 'not too far from here' for me…"

"Chilliwack, British Columbia."

"Jesus Arizona, we can't just take off on a three hour wild goose chase when we don't even know where this woman lives."

"1567 Cambridge Falls Road and it's more like two and a half hours…"

"You are insatiable, you know that right?"

"What else are we going to do? We at least have to try right?" the optimistic look on her face is mixed with fear, and uncertainty.

"Fine, let me explain everything to Derek and see if he is okay with being on-call while we try to hunt down this woman."

Arizona without thinking reaches out with both hands pulling Amelia into her, it was meant as a hug, a friendly embrace, a thank you squeeze, but what happened instead became warm, open mouths finding each other, lingering too long, welcoming lips, and warm, lust filled tongues, leading to an unquenchable hunger, neither wanting to let go."

Arizona ultimately pushes herself backward, yanked away from the moment, and the reality of things she now cannot take back, even if she desperately tries, "Oh, god. I am so sorry, Amelia I am really, really sorry. Can we please just pretend that did not happen? That was completely my fault!"

Amelia opens her mouth to speak and all at once Derek barges into their space, "What is going on with the Dr. Herman?"

Taking a step back, Amelia clumsily finds the way back to her desk; nonchalantly she runs her hands through her hair and takes a sip of the stale, cold coffee left over from earlier, "I am really glad you are here, Derek! Arizona and I we were just starting to figure it all out...

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you all so much for reading, following along and the amazing comments! Please keep them coming and let me know what you think and what you would like to see going forward! Happy New Year everyone, cheers!<strong>


	7. Chapter 7

Arizona gazed at the big bed with the little woman upon it. How small Dr. Herman seemed, how quiet and fragile, such a contrast from the giant, puffed up, vociferous presence she shows the world in her everyday life at the hospital. Pulling a chair up next to her, Arizona reaches out to touch her hand.

"Well, I am not sure what it going on in there with you, but you need to wake up, because people need you, Dr. Herman. The kids, they need your insight and knowledge to save them, you are their only hope. Amelia removed all of that nasty tumor, so if you can just fight to wake up, you will be okay."

The tears drip down hitting the hard the plastic hand rail of the hospital bed. "Fine, I need you to wake up, I still have a lot to learn, and to be honest it's boring around here without you yelling at me all the time." The stillness is rudely interrupted by the repetitive and mundane beeping of various machines surrounding them, "And YES… you are right, okay? I do like her… a lot. So you should wake up and give me shit about how you knew before even I was able to admit it to myself. Listen, I am going to run an errand, when I get back I expect to find you awake and eating that, New York Super Fudge Funky Chunky Monkey, ice cream you have fallen in love with." Pushing the chair back, Arizona returns it to the original resting place. Walking back to the bed, she leans in kissing Nicole gently on the forehead, "You are not alone."

The car was already warm when Amelia pulled up to the front of the hospital; she waited until she saw the blonde head her way before pulling around. Arizona was already changed into a pair of well-worn jeans and black boots that crept up her legs just below the knee with her NorthFace winter jacket zipped up. Opening the door, the warm air engulfs her.

She hops into the front seat as her hands go directly to the vents blasting warm air, "It's so cold out, thank you for warming up the car and coming around."

Furrowing her brows at the blond, "You have gloves?"

Nodding, "Yes, yes I do, very warm gloves that are awesome and they are right where I left them in the bedroom closet of the house I no longer live in."

Cringing as she bites her lower lip, "Sorry."

"It's okay; I guess I didn't realize it was getting so cold already."

Amelia reaches down to turn up the heat, adjusting the vent downward so the warm air dances over Arizona's hands, "Some wacky weather thing is going on, who knows with this city."

The blonde's blue eyes stare just a bit too long looking over at Amelia's profile in the driver's seat, the sight of her makes Arizona's stomach hurt and try as she may the pounding in her chest can't be disciplined or contained as she slowly closes her eyes looking away, very unsure of what to do going forward.

"So, we have just under three hours to go on our adventure, should we stop and get some coffee?"

Amelia reaches over taking Arizona's hand in hers, the blonde freezes, until she realizes her hand has been placed upon the cardboard lid topped coffee cup in the console between them.

"Not my first rodeo on a road trip, Robbins."

Removing the cup from the holder, she cradles it in her hands before taking a long, savoring sip, "I see that, and I am very grateful you are not a road trip virgin. Thank you very much Dr. Shepherd." the wink is playful and Amelia feels it go right through her like a jarring but delicious pain pinging around her insides.

"Did you check in on her before you left?"

Managing a small encouraging smile, "I did, and stayed with her for a few moments. Basically told her to wake the hell up and get back to bossing us all around!"

"Well that may be the one thing that modern medicine can't manage, annoying her to death in order to wake her up."

They ride in silence, Amelia very much wants to bring up what happened in her office, but has no idea how to even begin that conversation. She senses the anxiety from Arizona, even the slightest touch is sending her retreating away like she has broken a law of some sort waiting for the punishment of her actions. For now, Amelia is content to wait for the right moment.

Alex Karev finds himself needing to check in on Dr. Herman if for no other reason than he feels like it is something he should do for Arizona, despite all they have been through he is still loyal to her both as a friend and a co-worker. Turning the corner into the room he almost runs into Derek, "Hey how is she doing?"

Closing the chart that he has been perusing through he returns the brushed steel Montblanc pen to his breast pocket, "She should be awake by now, this is driving me crazy Alex. The surgery went very well, it's the flight or fight thing, she needs to fight to wake up." He leaves them alone in the room as Alex precedes a few steps to the bed where Nicole lies in her own private sanctuary of stillness. "Okay, so listen to me you old bat. It's kinda boring around here without you barking orders and Arizona is going to stroke out if you don't wake the fuck up, so stop screwing around."

The snow started a little over an hour ago, once they left the outskirts of downtown Seattle, traffic was getting bad and there was no sign of it letting up. Listening to the radio it seemed the weather pattern had shifted slightly and a significant storm would be their new found traveling companion.

"Hey if you want me to drive, we can switch. I am happy to take over."

"Do I get to pick the music then?"

Shooting her a dirty look with furrowed brows, "What is wrong with my music?"

"Nothing if you're in a nursing home."

"They are classics that are timeless."

"Oh I am here to tell you there is a very clear expiration date on Barry Manilow."

"Rude. Pull over at the next exit, I am driving. I can't wait to hear what you have in store."

Before Amelia could respond traffic came to a complete stop as cars were being directed off the road and onto the upcoming exit. Amelia rolled down her window as they approached the officer holding a flare up ahead of them, "Highway closed due to the weather, officer?"

"No ma'am bad accident up ahead, it won't be cleared for hours."

She points to Arizona and back to herself as she speaks, "We are both doctors, surgeons actually, if we can help out in any way?"

The officer shakes his head, "Sadly no survivors, but nice of you to offer. Where are you headed?"

"Chilliwack, to catch up with a friend." Arizona offers.

"Head west pick up 542 then North to 547, back roads all the way be very careful ladies, might want to think about stopping for the night, storms only going to get worse they are saying."

"Thank you officer, appreciate your help." As they made their way onto the exit ramp Amelia threw out the question they were both thinking. "So, should we stop, get up really early and then we can be back around lunch time tomorrow if everything goes well?"

Amelia looks at the parking lots of the two hotels right off the exit, and they are jam packed. They both know it is highly unlikely they will have rooms available.

Agreeing, as she looks around the overflowing area, "Okay, well let's get gas, some food and we will just go slow and I am sure there are places a little further down the road to stay."

Amelia steers the vehicle toward the nearest gas station, as Arizona shifts in her seat, "Sounds like a plan."

The road was murky and the darkness became pitch black in no time at all as they traveled further from the small town they left behind. The snow began to fall faster and the rhythm of the wipers fell into time with the music Amelia chose to play as she nonchalantly feeds cheese puffs to the blonde while she concentrates on the road, Amelia lazily munches away herself as they continue the journey.

"Who is this? I really like it."

"Brandi Carlile."

"Oh yeah, I remember her."

"You do?"

"She was with that group, you know...the 'You got the beat' group…"

"That's Belinda, with the Go-Go's…very, very different. Brandi is from Seattle, I listened to her almost exclusively when I was in rehab her words really helped me heal. I know that sounds so cliché but it's the truth."

"It does not sound cliché at all; it's the power of music right? Maybe you could make me a tape of her stuff; I would like to hear more. I would like to hear anything you want to share with me." Arizona breaks the silence with her infectiously sweet laughter, "Do people even make mix tapes anymore?" Arizona can't help but drag her eyes slowly over to find Amelia face, soaking in the beauty of each detail and all the heart pounding affects that come with doing so. The blonde loves their rapport, their effortless jokes and banter. She is trying so hard to not like it as much as she does but she feels the comfort of being around Amelia sinking slowly into her bones finding a bit of the solid ground that she craves. The smile seeps across Amelia's face slowly, "Only if it's for Barry Manilow songs, how about I burn you a CD of Brandi's stuff."

Reaching over she playfully punches Amelia in the arm. You're a smart ass, but that would be amazing." Smiling again, Arizona's face remains locked on the road in front of her.

The wipers are losing the battle as the snow's intensity is making it almost impossible to see the road, despite having the blades swishing away on the highest setting.

"Hey look, there is something up ahead, what is that? Is that a Motel?"

Squinting to see the sign a bit better through the cascade of fluffy precipitation, "it's an Otel, the M is missing" Amelia informs her.

"Well it's better than 'No-tel', we are stopping."

The one story structure has certainly seen better days, ragged and worn in all its glory there are several cars in the lined spaces making the semi- circle of doors which made it look like a palace as they approached. "Okay, but I am telling you this looks like something straight out of a horror movie." Muttering to herself, "I should just go ahead and play the damn deliverance soundtrack."

Arizona turns into the parking lot, "I don't even know what that means, and please do not tell me. We have to stop; it will be fine, let's just hope they have some rooms."

The tarnished bell tied to the handle of the doorknob inside the room rattles and clangs everything awake as they enter the small office. They look around for someone to assist them, when out steps a middle aged woman who looks like a gym teacher Arizona had in seventh grade. She is sporting a pristine mullet hairdo, wearing a plaid print blue and grey flannel shirt greeting them with a welcoming smile.

"Hello ladies, how can I help you?"

"We were hoping you have space left?"

Grabbing the lone set of keys from the peg board behind her, "You are in luck, I have one room left. The storm has us pretty well booked up this evening."

The panic on Arizona's face is hard to miss, muttering under her breath "just one?"

"Darlin, it's a nice room, there is a queen bed in there, plenty of room for you ladies to stretch out, it also has a shower _and_ tub in case the bubble bath is more of your thing."

The woman shoves the key into Arizona's hand, "Just go left out of the office and it's the fifth door, I just need a credit card or cash, we don't take checks."

Arizona starts to dig in her bag, but before she can retrieve her wallet Amelia grabs her hand stopping her as she slides the card across the counter, "You can use this." Amelia notices the toothbrushes and tubes of paste along with small travel size deodorants lined up on the counter beside the keys. "Could we add on a couple of toothbrushes and one tube of toothpaste, and one deodorant? Arizona smiles at the Amelia and mouths the words, "thank you."

"You two sure make a cute couple." Amelia opens her mouth to correct the woman but her words just didn't make it out. "Thank you so much! Have a good night…" retrieving the items from the counter she shoves them in her back as she turns to leave. Arizona pops her head around Amelia, "We are just friends, not together friends just friend, friends." Amelia grabs her by the shoulders turning her around toward the door, looking back at the woman, "it's been a hard transition for her, and she is very shy and private…night!"

The bitter sting of the night air slaps them wide awake as they step foot back into the cold. "Shy? I am _not_ shy Amelia; I just don't want her to think we are something that we are clearly not."

Amelia stops in her tracks causing the blond to run into her, she turns around, "We can't"

Flinging both hands out in front of her, "I know! That is what I am trying to tell you!"

Taking a step closer, "We can't just forget it! You asked me after we kissed just before Derek barged into my office if we could just forget it, and I can't just forget it Arizona…and I don't want to forget it." Amelia changes directions heading toward the room, once she reaches the door, she holds out her hand to the side, "Key please."

Arizona steps forward, pushing against the woman in front of her, breathing in the scent of her hair, letting her own mouth inch closer to Amelia's ear, the blonde slowly slides her hands around Amelia's waist, key in hand she inserts it into the lock, turning the key as the sound of a deafening click shoots through them like a wild, uncontrollable bolt of lightning, setting everything on fire.

* * *

><p><strong>Thoughts, comments, recommendations for what you want to see as we go forward? I can't thank you for all the great comments, please keep them coming. I am enjoying writing this fic very much, and I appreciate those taking the time to read. Cheers- x<strong>


	8. Chapter 8

Stepping inside the outdated, dingy motel room, Arizona closes the door behind them letting her weight fall backwards manifesting itself into a gentle thud. Amelia's eyes intensely focused on the blonde who returns the gaze as she drops her bag and steps toward the neurosurgeon.

"I want to kiss you, and I am completely terrified."

Amelia bites her down on her bottom lip, stepping into Arizona's space; her warm mouth finds the blonde's lips beginning the exploration, savoring each sensation as Arizona's tongue slips into Amelia's mouth, in that moment she is unable to contain the moan that escapes, welcoming the additional heat, she sucks the blonde's tongue deeper inside. Finally they break apart, desperate for air, Amelia runs her finger down the center of Arizona's lips which are still wet and glistening from the kiss, "I've wanted to kiss you too, it's all I have been able to think about, so I am going to kiss you again, and then we are going to talk, okay?"

Licking her lips Arizona nods, and gives in to the notion of trying to hold back everything she is feeling and just lets herself just be in this place, this moment with an amazing woman. She unzips her own jacket shaking it off her shoulders, then without hesitation reaches for Amelia's zipper locking eyes with the woman as she slowly pulls downward until both jackets are a helpless pile on the floor.

The second kiss is more of a display in sheer desperation that anything, the sweet agony of ebullience manifesting itself as a fight between lips and tongues, demanding control in an effort to draw one another closer, breathing into each other until their rapid fire hearts pound together in unison. Eager hands snake around Amelia's waist and up her muscular, well defined back pulling her closer until the warmth between their bodies becomes almost unbearable, Amelia kisses the sensitive spot just below Arizona's ear on her neck, licking her way she continuing down her jawline sending electric sparks throughout her entire body, "We have to stop because if we don't stop now, I won't be able to stop at all." Arizona pulls herself back, letting Amelia continue, "I want you, God, I want you…" kissing her sweetly on the mouth "…but this means something to me Arizona, more than just the physical attraction, which by the way I am very attracted to you but I have walked the path of total consumption when it comes to wanting another person in my past and that did not end well for either of us."

Arizona lets herself fall to the edge of the bed, "Okay, well I don't want to be something that does not end well for you, Amelia, I can't take another bad ending. Maybe we should just forget about all of this, I can call Karev, he can come get you tomorrow morning and I will go to Chilliwack by myself."

"Arizona, you are not listening to what I am saying to you." The bed dips as she sits next to the blonde, "I don't want this to stop, I just need for us to go slow."

"Oh. You don't want to stop?"

"No, of course not and I am hoping you don't want it to stop either."

"I don't."

They fall into each other, the bed lets out a giant creaking moan as their weight shifts about, "Why do I feel like we are both going to need a trip to Physical Therapy when we get back."

"That could be a very interesting first date, right?" Amelia asks, testing the waters.

"So you would like us to actually date?"

Pushing herself backward towards the top of the bed until she is resting on her back, "I would really like to get to know you better, Arizona. We live together; this has the potential to go way too fast, and implode. I just want us to talk about it, I need for us to acknowledge what is happening so we can walk in the same direction, not pull each other down a bumpy uneven road of games and guessing."

The dimpled smile appears and Arizona slides beside the neurosurgeon slipping her hand inside of Amelia's, "How did you get so smart?"

Lifting up the weight resting on her stomach, she kisses the center of Arizona's hand sighing out an ironic filled laugh, " What is a pompous drug addicted know- it -all who finally hit rock bottom in the absolute worst way, then scratched and clawed her way out of the darkness, Alex."

The silence settles between them, Arizona moves their hands to rest on her chest.

"It does not scare me, Amelia. I want to know everything, especially the worst of it."

"Well it should. It terrifies me. I am not sure which I was addicted to more, the drugs or the darkness."

The hesitation in Arizona's voice is almost palatable, the realization inside of her rises like the wild waters of an unseen river, out of nowhere it begins to rage, in an instant she realizes that the two women may not be as different as she might think. Finally she speaks the words out loud that she has never said to anyone.

"I was more addicted to the darkness. The self-loathing, bitter, relentless darkness for a long time after I lost my leg, I danced right up to the edge of wanting to kill myself almost every day for a year. Convinced it would be better for Callie and Sofia, I would think about it, plan it and each day I couldn't make myself do it, I would look ahead to the next day with hope of actually being able to go through with it, that was the only thing getting me through the days when I was at my lowest."

Brushing over Arizona's thumb with her own, "Most of the time I forget you don't have a leg."

"I can't make myself forget."

They both lie in the stillness of the night, comfortable and lazy in the sunken, lackluster bed that has seen better days, looking up at the dreary stain filled drop ceiling squares watching over the two like a reminder of the ugly scars inside them both, those scars that linger quietly only to surface from time to time. The two women talk, share and laugh as they slowly begin to peel back the layers of vulnerability, treading lightly as they take one small step forward.

The sunlight danced across the bed a welcome invitation from the blinds that were never pulled closed, Arizona opened her eyes to find her lips inches away from Amelia's neck, she shifted one eye down to see her hand was not only wrapped around the other woman but tucked down inside the waistband of her jeans. They fell asleep fully clothed not even bothering to set a watch or ask for a wake up call, Arizona had an awful feeling it was much later than they wanted it to be.

The blonde slowly began to move her hand from inside Amelia's pants, intending to remove the only thing that is currently attaching the two of them together. "Mmmm" Amelia turns herself slightly toward Arizona letting her legs fall open against the blonde's lower hip, pushing into her as she slides her hand across Arizona's chest, brushing against her already hard nipples, which cause Arizona to catch her breath as she tries to regain control of the warmth and wetness taking over her most tender parts.

_Mmm, fuck. _It rolls off Arizona's tongue thick and luscious, closing her eyes to savor the welcome throbbing that has begun.

"You are so sexy." The whisper drifts into her ear followed by a kiss that lands on her cheek, and all at once Amelia is out of the bed.

"Waii…where are going?"

Amelia holds up a toothbrush and tosses one toward the bed, "I refuse to behave like frat boys, and you will thank me in a minuet."

Arizona stretching as she climbs off the bed, watching Amelia in the mirror of the bathroom. "We kept our clothes on all night that is certainly not the behavior of frat boys."

Looking behind her as she feverishly brushes away, shooting Arizona a wanton look, she rinses in the sink before sliding past Arizona standing in the doorway sweetly kissing her on the lips, "Slow, this is not a race, remember?"

"I will make sure to reiterate that to the parts of my body you set on fire five minutes ago." reaching out to pull Amelia back in for another kiss.

Amelia checks her phone, "It's only a little after eight, not so bad, we can still make good time if the weather has cleared and the roads are passable. I am going to grab us some coffee and check out the forecast at the office. I will be right back."

"If you run away with my seventh grade gym teacher, I am going to be incredibly hurt."

Reaching for the door, "…lucky for you she does not have those killer dimples of yours or else it would really be a toss-up." Amelia barely gets the door shut before she hears the shoe smack the door and the sound of laughter dancing around the room from the other side.

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><p><strong>Thank you to everyone for following, and also the great comments, keep them coming! Really appreciate you taking the time to read. - Cheers x<strong>


	9. Chapter 9

Amelia returned to the motel room with two styrofoam cups of coffee and a couple of blueberry muffins still warm from her visit to the front desk. She gently tapped on the door, a cup in each hand as she held the brown paper bag clinched tightly between her teeth. Arizona peered through the small peephole smiling as she reached for the handle, pulling the door open.

"Hi." Her hair still slightly damp from the quick shower, she plucks the bag from Amelia's mouth. "I see you did not run away with the gym teacher."

Holding out the cup as if it were a piece offering, "It was tempting but I thought maybe I would just accept her warm, homemade blueberry muffins and come back to you."

Arizona sets her coffee down on the small flimsy table beside her then pulls the other woman closer whispering just below her ear. "Can you say that again, the part about coming back to me?"

Running her hand up the blonde's jawline to the back of her neck she fixates on Arizona's piercing blue eyes as she speaks slowly with purpose, lingering on the words, her intentions very clear with the intensity of her feelings bubbling rapidly to the surface. "I wanted, I needed to get back here… to you."

There was a new found intimacy dancing on their tongues, daring and playful. The connection was undeniable as Arizona backs herself up against the wall for support. She welcomed Amelia's mouth into hers with a reverence honoring the moment, felt the sweet familiar sensation of butterflies gathering in the depths of her stomach.

Breaking the kiss as an awkward wave of shyness washes over Arizona, "Are you sure you haven't kissed a ton of girls before?"

Amelia laughs at the thought, "One girl, first year of med school, and I don't know what I liked more, kissing her or watching the way she perfected her subcuticular stitch." She takes a pastry from the bag handing it to Arizona before reaching in for her own.

Arizona plunges into an enthusiastic bite as the moist doughy sweetness hits her palette, "When did you first notice me?"

"Well, I noticed you the first time I saw you, you're like that you know, kind of stunning when you walk into a room. What I really remember though was watching you interact with a family who had just lost their baby and you got down on the floor to talk with a little boy, who was maybe five or six. I don't know what was said or what you did but I remember he gave you the biggest hug then you took off your scrub cap and gave it to him. I will never forget the way he looked at you."

Letting the details step to the forefront of her memory, Arizona takes a sip of coffee before speaking. "Miles Maxwell, his baby brother had truncus arteriosis and there was severe uncontrolled pulmonary hypertension when we went into surgery, he was just too weak. Miles said he liked my hat, and I said it was a magic hat, and that his baby brother would smile when he looked up at me with the hat on, so I gave it to Miles and told him when he was sad, to look at the hat and think of his brother smiling down on him.

Amelia traces the plastic lid with her thumb, "Well It was a pretty special thing to witness, then I saw you later with Callie and the way she looked at you, I knew you two were together before anyone needed to tell me. From that moment I tried so hard to look at you differently, I had no idea what I was feeling for you but it was something that had never happened to me quite like that before with a woman. I worked so hard to pretend my feelings did not exist."

Shoving a bite of muffin in her mouth, slowly she drags her blue eyes up to meet Amelia's, "How did that work out for you?"

Amelia hooks a finger into Arizona's waistband forcing her closer, kissing without regret, ardent sticky sweet lips dripping with appreciation, tongues battle for ownership, teeth graze, lick and bite their way to a flood of wetness draped like a cloak around their want. "What is it they say about all good things to those that wait", Amelia bites at the blonde's bottom lip before slipping her tongue into the anticipating warmth welcoming her back inside.

The jarring sound blares from the phone making them both jump, in an instant Tina Turner bellows "_Simply the best, better than all the rest…_" through Amelia's phone.

"It's Derek."

"You have got to be kidding me, _that _is his ringtone?"

Fumbling to retrieve the phone, "He swiped my phone and programmed it himself, shocking I know."

"Hey Derek, what's up." Amelia plops down on the bed, only to spring back up like she was on a trampoline. "Awake? When? Okay, yes. Run it all, let's make sure there is nothing that comes up and we will be back as soon as we can, we are leaving now."

Arizona has tears in her eyes, and she looks toward Amelia waiting with baited breath to hear the words she has been hoping and praying would come to fruition.

"She woke up early this morning, her memory and cognitive skills seem intact, Derek is going to get a baseline MRI, check for clots make sure there are no surprises now that she is awake." Amelia watches the tears fall with fury down Arizona's cheeks, "Hey, come here", the blonde finds Amelia's shoulder and lets it all go, foul faced fear and the darkness of uncertainly come barreling out fighting with a salty stream simply seeking to escape.

Kissing her cheek, Amelia takes both of Arizona's hands in her own, "She is going to be bossing you around in no time, right? The worst is over, let's get our stuff together and get the hell out of here, and back home."

Arizona grabs her hand as Amelia turns to gather their things, "Wait. I just want to say thank you. For being a good friend when I needed it, a damn brilliant surgeon and for taking a small step toward whatever it is that we are together. It's important to me that you know how much I appreciate you, Amelia."

All the words that are swirling around in Amelia's head seem to find a resting spot for the time being, now is not the moment for them to make an appearance and she knows it. A simple heart stopping, devilish smile washes over the neurosurgeon's face and all that needs to be said are summed up in the few simple words that escape her mouth, "I am very grateful for you Arizona Robbins, and I plan on reminding you of that every chance I get."

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><p>It took them several hours to make their way back to the hospital; both deciding it was not worth stopping home before heading straight to the fourth floor in search of a fully awake Dr. Nicole Herman. They would find her just as Arizona had hoped; lying in bed with a freshly finished container of ice cream proudly perched on the tray in front of her.<p>

Arizona watches for a moment from just outside the hallway, gone is the frail the woman she left and what has miraculously replaced that image upon her return is the fierce, boisterous fighter she had missed. Arizona somehow knew in the depths of her instincts that Dr. Herman was going to be just fine.

Taking a deep breath Arizona moves into the flood of florescent light, "Well look who decided it was time to join the party."

Shaking her bandaged covered head , "Jesus Robbins, I wake up and Karev tells me you're gallivanting around like a lovesick prom queen. We have work to do, I need all the charts on the cases we currently have and we need to get back to work."

Examining the sticky container of empty ice cream that has clearly come from somewhere other than the hospital cafeteria, "Ah, I see you and Karev have become pals."

"I had him all wrong, he is a fine young man, not bad on the eyes and he appreciates the thrill of breaking the rules sometimes."

Arizona can't help but laugh, "Well I will certainly keep the rule breaking in mind when we get back to work which is going to be awhile for you, you know this right?"

"Arizona, I am fine. Derek said everything looked good. I could do rounds right now if I had the charting files you're not bringing me."

Amelia appears in the doorway, she has pulled her hair up in a messy bundle on top of her head, stethoscope draped around her neck, Arizona tries with all her might not to smile, but the best she can do is bite her bottom lip and look away.

Amelia's head is buried in the chart she is holding, scribbling notes as she skims the pages, "No one by the name of Nicole Herman who is currently lying in the bed in this room is doing rounds for at least two weeks, you can consult and have office hours , no more than fifteen though, starting next week. I want to keep you in here for another day or two just to monitor things."

Nicole carefully folds her arms and looks directly at Amelia, "Bossy."

Refusing to look up from her work, "Well isn't that the pumps calling the handbag beige."

Nicole blurts out in a fit of laughter so powerful it's a bit alarming. Arizona raises a single eyebrow in awe watching the belly laughter spill all around them.

"I get why you like her so much Robbins, she is funny. She is also a wildly masterful surgeon, who is now my favorite person on staff at this hospital which is the only reason I am going to listen to you Dr. Shepherd."

Amelia steps toward the bed, pulls the mag light from her pocket, reaching out to gently guide Nicole's chin upward, "follow the light for me" dragging her eyes back and forth, following the commands as Amelia gives them she is rewarded with praise. "Looks like a certain bad ass peds surgeon is on the mend. I need you to rest; you have to promise me not to push. Don't you dare screw up my amazing work, do you hear me?" The scolding is playful and there is an appreciation plastered on Nicole's face as she watches Amelia, then out of nowhere there are tears, just a few but they say everything and nothing all at once as the understanding between the two women forms into a reconstructed, pieced together chain link bond. A simple touch and gentle squeeze on the shoulder from Amelia, sends Nicole's hand falling in place on top of hers, the physical contact lasts for little more than a split second, it is perhaps the only way Nicole Herman knows how to honor the hands that have saved her life.

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><p>Gathered around the nurses station just down the hall from Nicole's room, Derek joins Amelia, Alex and Arizona as they debrief about Dr. Herman's case, her prognosis and what lies ahead. Amidst all the discussion it is agreed upon that Amelia did the unfathomable and that the prognosis for a full recovery is looking very good.<p>

Alex tosses his charts down on the counter, "Alright we need to go out for a celebratory drink, who's in?"

Derek is the first to squash the plan, "I have been working or on call well over my limit, I need sleep more than I need booze." He throws a wink toward Amelia, "I am very proud of you, very, very proud." Turning to leave Amelia's words bounce off him, "Thank you handsome brother who is the second best neurosurgeon in the family." She watches Derek leave as he holds up this his hand with the thumb pointed down.

Alex, looks at the two remaining woman, "Well what about you two?"

Arizona pats him on the back, "I am exhausted Karev, my hot shower and comfy bed are demanding I go straight home, I bet Nicole would do some ice cream shooters with you."

"Screw you, Robbins. I thought lesbians were supposed to be fun, what happened to your fun?"

Ignoring Karev's smart ass banter, the blonde casually looks over at Amelia, "See you later at home or in the morning if I totally crash. Have a good night."

Karev stands starring at Amelia, "Well?"

"Well what?"

"We gonna drink or not?"

Amelia takes the stethoscope from her neck slipping it into the pocket of her coat, "Not. Don't drink and I have paperwork to chart and then a few patients to check on before I go home. Sorry Alex."

"You people are as much fun as watching a fucking Chia pet grow…" Alex mutters to himself as he walks toward Dr. Herman's room.

Amelia finishes up the work she needed to get done at the hospital before making her way home. Unlocking the front door she unloads her things on the small weathered wooden bench just inside the entrance. Arizona is on the couch wrapped up in a blanket sound asleep, the hot tea she had made her herself was still full in the cup and had long gone cold on the coffee table. Making her way to the kitchen Amelia finds a peanut butter and jelly sandwich neatly wrapped up in wax paper on a plate and a glass of fruit juice beside it. There is a note written on a yellow piece of paper tossed beside the items.

"If I knew how to make homemade pasta with a fancy saucy sauce for you I would do it in a heartbeat… but I do know how to make a mean PB&J and open your favorite sparkling cider. A-"

Amelia traces her finger along the tightly wrapped square of thoughtfulness left for her, the pull of her heart and wild visions of possibilities fill her as she gently folds back the wax paper, taking a bite she savors the tastes that fill her whole body, reminding herself there is nothing quite as delicious as falling in love.

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><p><strong>Thanks so, so much for all the great comments and suggestions! Please keep them coming and let me know what you are thinking, I am enjoying letting this story unfold and totally open to thoughts you have as we go forward. Cheers! x<strong>


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